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The Legend of the Skank Moose
Now the moose is a noble creature told of in song but few know that the noble moose has a lesser known cousin.
This cousin is known as the Skank Moose.
The Skank Moose is native to Coopers Lake but his mystical powers allow him to travel to all the world visiting
SCA
events wherever they occur.
The Skank Moose looks exactly like a moose but has very short legs. He only stands two feet tall at the
shoulder.
His antlers are wonderful to behold. They stand out from his head like vast wings no less than six feet wide!
His eyes are wide and a perpetual mischevious grin graces his face.
On Frelling Night at Coopers Lake, at the start of the Pennsic War, the Skank Moose rises from the mists
of the SWamp.
He roams the land for the next two weeks, observing all the SCAdians at play. Eventually he spots a young Lord and
Lady walking, chastely hand in hand.
Alert, the Skank Moose follows this wholesome couple, drawn by their purity.
The Lord walks the Lady to her tent, ever the gentleman he bows over her hand bidding her good night - this is when
the Skank Moose strikes.
Leaping forward the Skank Moose lands upon the back of the gentle Lord, knocking him into the Lady. They
are both propelled into the tent and onto the bed by the strength of the Skank Moose.
The Skank Moose, moaning his joy for all to hear, flips his antlers from side to side shredding the clothing of the
couple and throwing it to an fro around the tent.
Panting with his happiness at finding such a gracious couple, the Skank Moose jumps up and down, up and down, thrusting
the Lord into the Lady over and over until they cry out.
Then, his passion spent, the Skank Moose leans down and with his strong lips and gentle teeth, nips each of the pair
on the neck leaving his mark for all the world to see come the light of day.
The Skank Moose, his work complete, bounds off joyfully into the night seeking another worthy couple to
bless.
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